Daddy on the Edge of the Itawamba County School District or "Whose Prom Would Jesus Attend?"

Daddy wants to kick some redneck, 1950's, Footloose ass.

I was going to link to the original story, but Daddy is just too frigging frustrated with humanity to do that right now, so here's the nutshell; stupid backwards people in Mississippi got scared when a lesbian high school senior decided she wanted to be a lesbian in public (GASP!) and take her lesbian girlfriend to her High School Prom. I KNOW, RIGHT? OH MY GOD!!!! So, instead of dealing with the issue like...hmmmm...ADULTS, the school first told her she couldn't come with a female date, then decided to cancel the prom altogether.

So lesbian girl, having learned that in the 21st century, even lesbians have rights, got in touch with the ACLU, who sued the school and said that you can't "not invite her" to the prom and you can't cancel your prom because a lesbian might get cooties on it.

So, THE PARENTS, the well meaning, caring considerate parents of the Itawamba County School District decided to host a prom that the lesbian girl and her date could attend.

Here's that story;

McMillen: I Was Sent to Fake Prom

To avoidConstance McMillen bringing a female date to her prom, the teen was sent to a "fake prom" while the restof her class partied at a secret location at an event organized by parents.McMillen tellsThe Advocate that a parent-organized prom happened behind her back — she and her date were sent to a Friday night event at a country club in Fulton, Miss., that attracted only five other students. Her school principal and teachers served as chaperones, but clearly there wasn't much to keep an eye on.

"They had two proms and I was only invited to one of them," McMillen says. "The one that I went to had seven people there, and everyone went to the other one I wasn’t invited to."

Last week McMillen asked one of the students organizing the prom for details about the event, and was directed to the country club. "It hurts my feelings," McMillen says.

Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event, McMillen recalls. "They had the time of their lives," McMillen says. "That's the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn't have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom]."

In March, after the Itawamba County School District refused to allow McMillen to bring a female date to the prom, the district canceled the event altogether. McMillen and her lawyers from the American Civil Liberties Union challenged that decision in court, and a judge ruled the district could not bar McMillen and her date.

The judge declined to force the school district to hold the prom because a parent-sponsored, private prom was being organized — and the understanding was that McMillen and her date were invited to that event. But Hampton says McMillen was never invited and organizers made it very difficult for her to find information on the time and location. That prom was later mysteriously canceled, with the Friday night event at the country club officially replacing it.

*************************************

You people fucking amaze me. No, really; I stand here FUCKING AMAZED at the lengths that some people will go to to be total lowlife losers. Let's put aside the whole lesbian thing for a minute - has anyone ever thought you were "different" and given you shit for it? About anything? Did it bother you? At all? If it did, how do you then have the god damned audacity to ostracize these kids and do the same thing to them? Think, McFly! Honestly, when I think of people like you, oh lovely, ever tolerant citizens of the Itawamba County School District, it just gives me the cold sweats to realize that some of you may attain higher office, or teach future generations, or breed.

But breed you will, and teach you will - so here's a little teaching for ya right now, k?

Sometimes boys and girls are attracted to each other.

And sometimes they're not.

Notice, I did not use the word "like" here, because that's one of those words that gets us into trouble. The word "like" (as in sometimes girls like other girls) leads people to believe that being gay or lesbian (or straight for that matter) is a choice, or a preference - something that can be decided on, like what kind of pudding you enjoy or what kind of hairstyle you wouldn't be caught dead in or, in the case of the residents of Itawamba County, which of your cousin's you want your kids to call "Daddy".

Surprise, backwoods morons! It's not a choice! It's not a preference! Gays and Lesbians are attracted to the same gender (and straights attracted to opposite genders) in the way the magnet on your compass is attracted to true north (as opposed to your moral compass, which lost it's sense of direction ages ago - I'm pretty sure it's pointed at Glenn Beck's rectum at the moment). A magnet doesn't choose to be attracted to it's complimentary magnetic force - it's just one of those nature thangs, git it? Which means (double gasp!) that that's the way GOD made it.

God made Lesbians. God made Gay Men. God made Transsexuals and Transgendered individuals, and GenderQueer people, and Intersex folks. God made 1,500 animal species that practice homosexuality (guess what - they didn't choose either!). God made creatures that can change sex, God made beings that can impregnate themselves. God made a miraculous diversity of wondrous life, because a God of infinite power doesn't need to limit himself to one from "Column A" and one from "Column B". No; it was Man, in his sheer frigging brilliance, that wrote of a God of limitations. Because we always seem to think we are soooo frigging smart. Well, someone once said of human intelligence;

If the Human Mind were simple enough to understand, we would be too simple to understand it.

People of Itawamba County, you are deciding (CHOOSING!) that you know the mind of God, and that he in his infinite wisdom has made you as wise as he on these matters. In doing so, you prove the argument that indeed, you are too simple to understand not only the mind of God; not only the mind of humanity, but indeed, too damned simple to understand the thought processes of a PEZ dispenser.

One of the straight chicks who went to the "real prom" posted pics of that prom on her FaceBook page. Also on her FB page was the quote, "I LOVE Jesus!". Hey, I'm down with that; I love Jesus too. Back when Daddy was in high school, and people hated on him for who they thought he was at the time, Daddy would remember;

Jesus hung out with Prostitutes.

Jesus hung with Tax Collectors.

Jesus hung with the Homeless.

Jesus hung with Lepers.

Jesus would've hung with me.

Jesus would hang with Constance McMillen.

Jesus said Love one another. He didn't say just love these people. He said Love EVERYONE. Treat EVERYONE as you would be treated.

Even the Lepers.

Even the Lesbians.

Even the people of the Itawamba County School District.

Hmmmmm.....

Hey...sorry about that PEZ Dispenser crack...um.....that was probably a little over the top.

I'm trying...so can you ease up on the Lesbian chick a little?

Thanks,

Daddy

Daddy on the Edge of Shamelessness

"Most mothers on the earth today are poor, uneducated, and deeply in love with their children. And they are buried in shame and silence."

This is one of the more poignant lines from a blog entry I stumbled upon this morning. I didn't think it would be my cup of tea, but was pleasantly surprised. Seems that more and more Daddy is becoming a fan of the completely unabashed. Check it;

Ho Mama! A Blog for Slutty, Single, Low-income Moms

Have you lived like that? For a week, a minute, or a lifetime? Have you known someone who has? It's been said that everyone on the planet should have to work in food service for a week, just so they might realize how difficult it is and maybe give their server a bit of slack the next time their three minute eggs are clearly only 2 3/4 minutes done. Maybe that's true of living hand to mouth as well. Maybe that should be a prerequisite for living in this country. I daresay that if more people had to live the low income lifestyle for a period of time, they would be a lot more compassionate to those that live it every day.

The same can be said for so many aspects of life that fall "outside the norm". Why is it that the majority of the Western World seems to base all of it's opinions of right and wrong, stylish and un, good and bad, tasteful and not, on this guy?

This guy isn't real; he never existed. Were there guys that walked around that looked like this guy? Sure, there still are today. They like to pass judgement on all that is not white, straight, male and middle class. The trouble is that this guy beats his wife, or peeps on his neighbor, or steals from the church, or cheats on his taxes, or fools around with the cleaning lady, or gambles the kids college fund, or drinks way more than he should. This guy broke eight out of ten commandments to climb the ladder of success, just so he could look down on everyone else not at his level. He can now cast shame on those below; shame for not achieving all that he has. Shame for not having this happy family that he has; shame for not being the white straight middle class male that he is.

Quick question; who give this guy such power? Society did; we did. Who can take it away? We can. And the first step is the easiest...and the hardest;

We must not be ashamed of ourselves.

No one wants to be laughed at. No one wants to be mocked. No one wants to be thought of as "less than" for their beliefs, or their preferences, or for who they are. So we sort. We divide. We slice and dice our lives, ourselves, into what is and what is not acceptable for public consumption. People will accept that you have a routine; they may not accept that you have OCD and must hit the light switch five times. People can know that she's frugal, but God forbid anyone knows that she occasionally has to use food stamps. He's the President of the Rotary Club - everyone knows that...and once a month, he wears heels and an evening gown and goes dancing - no one knows that.

When we do that; when we give the world less than what we are for fear that they will reject those parts of us and, in so doing, reject the whole of us, we are being unfair to ourselves, to them and indeed, to the rest of the world. It is only through standing up, through showing who and what we are, that people can understand and come to accept those parts of us - whatever parts of us that we think people just can't handle. In doing so, we give others in our shoes the opportunity to see that it's okay to be who we are; it's okay to allow our whole selves to shine.

It's okay to be unashamed.

We are what we are. We do what we do. God did not put us on this planet to assimilate into one big "Father Knows Best" character. A scientist doesn't mix different chemicals hoping that they will all become the same; he mixes them because he knows that their combination of differences will provide a desired result.

If we do the unimaginable, If we show our true selves,
the world as a result will be better than we ever could imagine.

I thought about ending this post here, but there is one more thing that needs to be featured. I came across another blog entry this morning, this one not nearly as inspiring as the one above, but one that needs to be discussed, nonetheless. This blog entry deals with the Tiffany Club of New England - here's a little about them(and I've added a link in the links section for anyone who would like to learn more);

Tiffany Club of New England is a social and support organization for the transgender community.

Tiffany Club of New England is registered as a 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation in the state of Massachusetts with offices in Waltham, Massachusetts. Tiffany Club of New England’s primary mission is that of being a social and support club for transgender peoples in the New England region.

Pretty harmless, huh? Not out to hurt or subvert, just finding some common ground to express that part of themselves that society isn't always ready to see. This finding of common ground, this desire to simply be, was looked at as an opportunity by a group calling themselves Mass Resistance, a "pro-family action center" in Massachusetts. They decided to sneak into a Tiffany Club function and secretly videotape transgender people using the ladies room. This was done in an attempt to fight passage of a hate crimes bill. Here's the link to that story;

Fighting a hate crime bill with hate

As the writer said, the very acts of Mass Resistance outline the need for hate crime legislation. The thing to remember here; the message to take away, is that none of those transgender individuals should be ashamed of themselves in any way. In fact, I applaud them for the courage to openly express who they really are. The shame should be reserved for the ones manning the camera, the cowards who can't enjoy this world unless everyone assimilates to their views. For them, and to wrap up this post, I have not one, but three quotes from Buddha, Daddy's "Wise Dude of the Day".


Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha



He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.
Buddha



And finally, for the slutty, single, low income Moms, everyone in the transgender community and anyone else who might stumble on these words;



You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
Buddha

Much Love,

Daddy

Daddy on the Edge of Oprah

I'm linking to Oprah. Dear Lord, what kind of girly man have I become? Do I have to buy metrosexual skin buffing agents now?

I'm not gonna do that, but I am indeed linking to an article that I read this morning on Oprah.com. How I got there I do not know; sometimes Daddy goes on internet spirit walks, drifting from link to link 'til he finds some truth (or pictures of Republicans in compromising positions - that's always fun).

So, here's some truth I found today; a slice of life that resonated. This article touches on a subject that I want to delve into at a later date, but whereas I would approach the topic using the patented Daddy recipe of a few facts, a smidge of humor and a generous helping of self aggrandizement and sarcasm, Allison Cooper, the author of this story brings her message home in a more personal way than I could ever muster. She's a beautiful, beautiful writer.

Read on, MacDuff.

What Happens When You Find the One...And He's Nothing—Nothing—Like You Expected?

Daddy on the Edge of Time Management

The title of this entry is the joke - Daddy is the WORST at time management, because Daddy hates to ask for help (which he got from his Daddy, but we're not gonna go there right now). I went from not working at all whilst in my recovery (that's your assignment for today - try to use the word "whilst" in a sentence twice today, okay? C'mon, it'll be fun! You'll feel all English and stuff!) to working on way too many things at once, and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. That's good from a financial standpoint, but really bad from a time management standpoint.

As Daddy paused in thought, he looked down at his watch and realized that he was late for work...again. "Big surprise", Daddy grumbled. "I bet my boss is gonna have my ass for breakfast. He can be such a prick sometimes..." It was then that Daddy realized that he was indeed self employed, and sheepishly went back to his blog entry.

So, in the interest of using my time more wisely, from time to time I am going to farm out this space, and give you a link to another blogger that gets the Daddy Seal of Approval. This first one is a guy that seems to have had a momentary flash of brilliance, and then gotten too busy to publish any more, but the gem he left behind had me laughing out loud.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you "Sweet 16" from the blog "House Husband" by Jason Nash. Enjoy.



Note; The photo above, entitled "Clock Silhouette" is by ginnyhaha and can be found at DeviantArt.com

Daddy on the Edge of "Partners" in Crime

Here's my question; do I pay for this guys hair product?

I mean, he's gotta be using product, right? I'll admit, I'm envious - Daddy used to have hair like that. Okay, full disclosure - it never looked that good. My mane always looked more like Joey Ramone's than Eric Cantor's. I don't know what it is; I just can't take my eyes off it. The man works the volumizer like Deney Terrio.





On a completely unrelated subject, did I pay for this guys tanning spray? I know, I know...it's the age old debate - booth or spray? While it may be booth, I would have to lean toward spray only because it just looks soooo fake. An older gentleman that I know used to color his hair a shade of red that, while it looked all right, didn't by any stretch of the imagination look natural. That's kinda the way I feel about John Boehner's tan.



It was here that I was going to get to the original point of this post; how, more than likely, the American Taxpayer did indeed pay for Cantor's hair gel and Boehner's fake tan as well as a whole shopping list of other items that "regular folk" just pay for out of their own pockets, as the guys and gals on the Hill should.

That was where I was going, but my research sent me in another direction. I will return to the subject of criminal congressional spending in the future, but for the remainder of this post, I need to focus on something that I just found...interesting.

Didya ever notice how these two fellas are practically inseparable?

I mean seriously - they are together all the time!





Here...


There....


Everywhere!


Not that I'm throwing stones, mind you. I mean, I too have been guilty of workplace romances. You're together all the time, you certainly share common interests ("Oh yes, when Eric and I aren't busy subverting the Obama agenda, we like to weekend on the Cape, do a little antiquing and shut down a homeless shelter or two; it's the little things that bring you closer together as a couple."); it's to be expected.




But gentlemen; you can't let your relationship detract from your work.

At the Health Care Summit, it seemed to me that John Boehner looked uncomfortable, and he really wasn't making eye contact with anyone.


His gaze kept wandering across the room...to where Eric Cantor was sitting!

They weren't sitting next to each other! And it just felt all wrong!

I was gonna really run with this angle. I was going to compare them to these guys.
and really, can you blame me? Fake tans, big hair; hell, all that's missing is the tiger.

But then I got to thinking, who the hell is Daddy to ridicule true love? Two soulmates found each other through the ultimate bizzarre situation (because seriously - to me, the idea of finding your gay lover in the Republican Congress is like finding Dog the Bounty Hunter at auditions for "Gypsy") - what gives me the right to hate on 'em for that?




And honestly , if I take away all the animosity and hatred I feel for these two for being the kind of politicians that give politicians a bad name, well...they actually do make an attractive couple. Look at this picture and tell me these two don't love each other.





You can't, can you? Because it's so obvious. So, I'll say it here right now; John, Eric, in the interest of bi-partisanship (and bi-sexuality as well, I guess - both you guys are married, right?)
I'd like to wish you the best of luck together.

It's not every day that an Orange Man and someone with John Travolta's hairstyle from "Saturday Night Fever" can find each other and make it work the way you two have.

Here's to you, guys!
The Leader and the Whip -
Perfect Together.

Daddy on the Edge of the End of the Frigging World

Did the title of this post get your attention? That's what it was supposed to do. Is it accurate? Doesn't matter - it got your attention, hopefully scared you a bit, and if I followed it up with simple solutions to stop the impending "End of the Frigging World", you might listen and implement a few of them. Then, even if it hadn't really been "The End of the Frigging World", you will still think that it could have been, had you not stood up and done your part to stop it. You're a God damned hero - pat yourself on the back.

You have to admit, "The End of the Frigging World" grabs you a hell of a lot more than "global warming". Global Warming - that sounds...almost comfortable, like snuggling up in a big, planet sized blanket with a crackling yule log in the fireplace. It doesn't sound scary, and that's the problem. Al Gore is a great mind, a great orator, and a great humanitarian - but he reallly dropped the ball in the marketing department.

Sometimes, you have to take a page from the Republicans, who are the de facto champions of fear mongering. Take for example, the estate tax. The Federal estate tax is imposed "on the transfer of the taxable estate of every decedent who is a citizen or resident of the United States." As the size of the estate gets larger, the taxes do start to add up, but an "estate tax" is hardly something that will make people quake in their boots. But, a "DEATH TAX!" - well now, that'll getcha nervous, now won't it? Sure, because what's the implication here - that the Federal Government is going to tax you, in essence charge you, for the privilege of dying? Of course, they're not going to do that per se, but some people will think that, and that's what matters in marketing - perception.

They do it all the time. "End of life counseling" - where a doctor talks over your hospitalized loved ones final wishes with you so you're all on the same page as to treatment - yeah, that's a "DEATH PANEL" now. The Republicans are pretty easy; basically just put the word "death" in there and they're halfway home. I'm surprised they've decided to call President Obama a socialist, when DEATH DEMOCRAT seems like such a gimme. Again, is it accurate? While the sane answer is, "no, of course not. President Obama's existence is not causing my death", it still leaves the door open in that it's sooo general. There are so many ways that someone could be causing your demise, can you be absolutely certain that the Death Democrats aren't indeed plotting your very destruction? Did you see what I did there? Now, it's not just Obama -it's the whole Death Demoncrat Party - it's Pelosi, it's Biden, it's Reid..(did you see...yeah, I thought so).

So why, why did we get saddled with a term so milquetoast as "Global Warming"? It's not scary, and, in our generally over-simplistic understanding of things, it's not accurate. We've had about a bazillion inches of snow in my area in the last couple of days, more than I can ever remember in a single storm. Why? Global Warming.


Insert laughter and confused looks here - "Um....Daddy? Doesn't Global Warming mean...um...not cold? Shouldn't it snow less if the globe is warmer? (more laughter) Dumb Ass Demoncrat."




See? It doesn't work. So, late in the game, we tried to re-brand global warming as "Climate Change". Better; it's more general which, as we pointed out earlier, opens the door to the possibilities. Still though, people expect climate change. You could say that climate change is what gives us seasons. Global warming naysayers say that the climate change that we've had in the last thirty five years is completely natural. And again, "Change" just isn't scary enough. People voted for "Change", for crying out loud - it was a good thing. This is what the marketing world calls a mixed message. It's ineffective.

You need something big. Something catchy. And, most importantly, something scary. Because this is scary. Polar Caps are melting, water levels are rising, hotter summers, colder winters, increases in the amount and severity of hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes - it's real, and it can be pretty damned terrifying if you let it be. So, here's my suggestion. Drop "Global Warming" - it wasn't doing you any favors. You can still use Climate Change if you must, but only as part of an explanation for what we are currently facing, which is;

See how we got "death" there? Gingrich would be proud. So, we've got scary - WORLD DEATH is definitely scary. We've got general - again, so many things can cause death - too hot, too cold - could be dying either way, right? And finally, although it's not clearly stated, we have a sense of urgency, a sense of immediacy. Death comes to us all, often suddenly, without warning and almost always sooner than expected.

It's good politically, too. Show of hands - who's in favor of WORLD DEATH?? Not even Eric Cantor is stupid enough to raise his hand on that one. Who wants to stop WORLD DEATH? Um...anyone who wants to be re-elected, that's who! Who do we have to kill to do it?!? Um...no one. What country do we have to invade to stop WORLD DEATH?!? Um...we don't have to invade anyone. Will we be greeted as liberators with candy and flowers?!? Geez...you guys are really hung up on that whole image, aren't you? Iraq was an invasion, not a Prom date. Get over it.

So, what must we do to stop WORLD DEATH and be planetary heroes???

Here's the part that's just hard to make sexy, and ideally the solution should be sexy. I'll do my best;

Replace your light bulbs with CFL bulbs.
Recycle.
Plant more trees.
Eat less fast food (forests are cleared so that our big Mac can chew it's cud.)
Consider tankless water heaters, geothermal home heating and cooling systems, and residential solar panels for your home.
Drive a fuel efficient car.

Compost.
Ask your government representatives why there aren't American made solar panels on every government building in the US.
Ask again.
Ask again.


Ask your government representatives why the US is not leading the way in solar, wind turbine, hydro-electric and smart building technologies, as all of these initiatives would not only help save the environment (and stop WORLD DEATH!), but would also mean thousands of new jobs, a revival of US exports, and a new and improved infrastructure and economy for the US.

You know the problem with the Grand Old Party? The "Old" part. These guys don't want change; all change will do is screw up their retirement funds. Well, I'm sorry, but I can't stand idly by and watch World Death overtake the planet just because some old politician doesn't want to rock the boat. Change is necessary. In nature, the rule is adapt or die. We can adapt. We must adapt. We can beat World Death.

And we can be God damned heroes.

Daddy on the Edge of Getting Biblical

Oh, California. Land of raisins and Chardonnay, live studio audiences and Sea World, Tales of the City and the Streets of San Francisco -

and beauty queens that just don't know when to shut the hell up.


If you are unaware of what I am referring to, then please let me give you the skinny. First, the Miss America pageant introduced us to a lovely little firecracker named Carrie Prejean. Simply the epitome of Miss California; blonde hair, blue eyes, toned and tanned and rockin' the bikini the way Cheryl Ladd used to when her poster hung on my tweenage wall.

But then she opened her mouth. Pretty mouth, pretty teeth...but the nonsense that spilled forth only made us long for that other pageant chick/rocket scientist who blathered on about maps.

Carrie was asked about same sex marriage during the 2009 Miss USA pageant. She was asked by pageant judge Perez Hilton whether she believed every US State should legalize same-sex marriage. She responded,

Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman.

She didn't win.


I know - shocker, right?? I mean, not as much of a shock to me as the fact (???) that "we live in a land where you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage" - holy crap, when did that happen? Oh, wait - I get it - she didn't mean that they were equal, or that they carried all of the same rights and benefits - she just meant that you could choose! Hmmm...decisions, decisions....do I choose the marriage that's recognized anywhere on the planet, or the one that's recognized in...what is it now, 4 states? Until they change their minds, right? Yeah...choice is alive and well, chica.

But that's yesterday's news. Today's news is that apparently, being stupid and hateful is a new pageant category (between talent and swimsuit I think). Here's our next contestant!


(Editorial Note: Okay, I just had to share this. I couldn't remember this next girls name, so I googled "dumb beauty queen" and bam! There she is! Gotta love my Google.)



Meet Lauren Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills! Okay, she's not Miss Beverly Hills anymore. Beverly Hills doesn't want her to be Miss Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills never asked her to be Miss Beverly Hills. She just...picked it. Which apparently, in Pageant Land, you can do - as long as you stick a "USA" on the end. I think for the rest of this post, Daddy will be "Miss Gotham City, USA".

Lauren, when asked about her views on gay marriage, had this to say on the subject;

“I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.”

So, like - Dad loves all of us kids the same, y'know?
Cause like, he's sooo totally cool and he like totally wants
the best for all of us....except for you, Billy.
Yeah...Dad's like gonna totally cut off your head
with a rusty sawz-all. I guess somebody shouldn't have
played "five minutes in the closet" with Jimmy Stillman.
But, you know what they say -
Daddy knows best!






You can hardly fault her for being hateful, because the quote just sounds so...ditzy. I mean, c'mon - "I feel like God Himself created Mankind". As opposed to what - like He farmed out the work? Like God created the Heavens and the Earth...and on the fourth day God's friend Larry swung by and knocked out the whole mankind project. Yes Lauren, God Himself created mankind - He's basically the only one for the job.

"He has the best for everyone". Well...yes. You'll get no argument from me there, 'cause I learned the song;

"Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world,
red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world!"

Hey, y'know what? I sang that out loud just now and I just don't feel that pissed at you anymore, Lauren the beauty queen! I can hardly remember what I was peeved about! Let's just look at that last little bit you had to say - "If He says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that's a pretty stern warning, and He knows more than we do about life."

Damn. That just sucked the Kumbaya right out of me.

Okay, little girl - let's get Biblical.

Y'know, Daddy is an ordained Minister. Daddy's Daddy studied to be a Minister, Daddy's Mommy was a missionary, Daddy's cousin is a Reverend, and Daddy's wife is descended from the 12 Tribes - so I know a thing or two about religion. And let me say this about that; you cannot, and should not, cherry pick the bible. The bible is not an ala carte menu - you cannot have "Do unto others" without "It is easier to pass a camel through a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven". But those references are from the New Testament (or as my wife would say to me, "Your book".) The reference that you reference is from the Old Testament. I know this because the Old Testament is like a Quentin Tarantino movie - everybody dies in the OT! They laid down a lot of these rules in the book of Exodus - right after we got the Ten Commandments, we got the basics - if you beat a guy so bad that he dies, you die. If you beat the crap out of your parents, you die. If you kidnap a guy, you die. Makes sense, right?

But then things started getting extreme; if you curse your parents, you die. But if you beat your servant with a rod so bad that he dies, you shall surely be punished (notice you didn't die from that - weird, huh?) If an ox gores a man, the ox dies, but the owner of the ox gets off. However, if the ox has a prior record of goring folks, and the owner didn't send him to rehab or put up an ox fence or something, and the ox kills again, then the ox gets stoned and the owner gets put to death. Folks, I gotta tell you, there must have been some real problems with the legal jurisprudence of Oxen, because there are like seven verses in Exodus alone that specifically deal with "ox law".

In Deuteronomy, if you're rebellious to your parents, you die. If you're a practicing magician, you die. If you were supposed to be a virgin on your wedding night, and you weren't really so much of a virgin on your wedding night....you win the Miss America pageant! No, silly - you die!

I could go on, and on....and on. Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy laid out Law and Order - OT style, and the punishment for a whole host of things was death. Seriously, with all the stoning and killing and ox goring, it's a miracle anyone lived long enough to greet Jesus when he finally came to town. Oh, and that's another thing that the selective reading Christian often forgets - when Jesus came, his ministry caused many changes in the old law; his existence made much of the old law obsolete as he fulfilled it. And, it's always important to recall that Jesus was very big on love and acceptance; not smiting and killing. Christ was the Tony Robbins of his time, because he was all about self improvement. He didn't say, "Go getteth up in thine people's faces and tell them what they're doing wrong". He said instead, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." He didn't say, "Do unto others, then tell them I said it was okay." He said instead, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". A friend of mine said today that "he really hates being told he is damned to hell first thing in the morning". Can you think about how that feels, Miss Beverly Hills nee Pasadena and all the other pageant gals that think this might be a good torch to carry? Nobody wants to hear crap like that, even if you realllly think it's true. At least not before coffee.

I was going to try coming up with a pithy quote to wrap this up, but it's late. Here's a nice one from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross;

"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."

Lighten up, ladies,

Daddy (The reigning Miss Gotham City, USA)