Saturday, February 27, 2010

Daddy on the Edge of "Partners" in Crime

Here's my question; do I pay for this guys hair product?

I mean, he's gotta be using product, right? I'll admit, I'm envious - Daddy used to have hair like that. Okay, full disclosure - it never looked that good. My mane always looked more like Joey Ramone's than Eric Cantor's. I don't know what it is; I just can't take my eyes off it. The man works the volumizer like Deney Terrio.

On a completely unrelated subject, did I pay for this guys tanning spray? I know, I's the age old debate - booth or spray? While it may be booth, I would have to lean toward spray only because it just looks soooo fake. An older gentleman that I know used to color his hair a shade of red that, while it looked all right, didn't by any stretch of the imagination look natural. That's kinda the way I feel about John Boehner's tan.

It was here that I was going to get to the original point of this post; how, more than likely, the American Taxpayer did indeed pay for Cantor's hair gel and Boehner's fake tan as well as a whole shopping list of other items that "regular folk" just pay for out of their own pockets, as the guys and gals on the Hill should.

That was where I was going, but my research sent me in another direction. I will return to the subject of criminal congressional spending in the future, but for the remainder of this post, I need to focus on something that I just found...interesting.

Didya ever notice how these two fellas are practically inseparable?

I mean seriously - they are together all the time!




Not that I'm throwing stones, mind you. I mean, I too have been guilty of workplace romances. You're together all the time, you certainly share common interests ("Oh yes, when Eric and I aren't busy subverting the Obama agenda, we like to weekend on the Cape, do a little antiquing and shut down a homeless shelter or two; it's the little things that bring you closer together as a couple."); it's to be expected.

But gentlemen; you can't let your relationship detract from your work.

At the Health Care Summit, it seemed to me that John Boehner looked uncomfortable, and he really wasn't making eye contact with anyone.

His gaze kept wandering across the where Eric Cantor was sitting!

They weren't sitting next to each other! And it just felt all wrong!

I was gonna really run with this angle. I was going to compare them to these guys.
and really, can you blame me? Fake tans, big hair; hell, all that's missing is the tiger.

But then I got to thinking, who the hell is Daddy to ridicule true love? Two soulmates found each other through the ultimate bizzarre situation (because seriously - to me, the idea of finding your gay lover in the Republican Congress is like finding Dog the Bounty Hunter at auditions for "Gypsy") - what gives me the right to hate on 'em for that?

And honestly , if I take away all the animosity and hatred I feel for these two for being the kind of politicians that give politicians a bad name, well...they actually do make an attractive couple. Look at this picture and tell me these two don't love each other.

You can't, can you? Because it's so obvious. So, I'll say it here right now; John, Eric, in the interest of bi-partisanship (and bi-sexuality as well, I guess - both you guys are married, right?)
I'd like to wish you the best of luck together.

It's not every day that an Orange Man and someone with John Travolta's hairstyle from "Saturday Night Fever" can find each other and make it work the way you two have.

Here's to you, guys!
The Leader and the Whip -
Perfect Together.

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