Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Daddy on the Edge of a Radical Notion

Ya gotta love the world we live in.

Sharon Angle, batshit crazy wicked witch of the West, nearly made it to the capitol. Christine O'Donnell, who I think still believes that there are mice with human brains running around (and that they are hellbent on taking over the world) - people were nearly ready to put charge of stuff. Really...Important...Stuff.

This guy actually did win. This is Blake Farenthold, Congressman Elect to the 27th District of Texas. Blake is a conservative radio talk show host. He's kin to Sissy Farenthold, has a boat called "The Lollipop", plans on repealing "ObamaCare" and - oh yeah - he likes Duckies. (And I'm pretty sure the blonde was photo-shopped. I mean really; are we supposed to believe that these two are together? Her...with him? For Free?)

The Tea Party has made the impossible possible, the improbable probable and the unelectable, in some cases, totally electable. When I was 14, I told my mother that, if I ever ran for President, I would do it on my own terms - no suit and tie for me - I would get elected wearing my jeans and denim jacket (which had an American Flag patch above the right breast pocket). She was quick to inform me that I would not win - that no one would vote for someone dressed in such a fashion. I guess she was right; nothing says "vote for me" like duckie pajamas.

So, in this Bizarro world that we find ourselves living in, where Tea Baggers want to abolish the Department of Education, Social Security, Medicare and any part of the law or Constitution that they don't like, it would seem that no idea, no matter how "out there", is necessarily off the table. So at last, the stars have aligned, and the time has come for Daddy to unveil his own platform.

It's Radical Notion Time.

Here are some of my thoughts on how to fix thangs, in no particular order;

Iraq - We broke it. Getting rid of Saddam? Good. Leaving major cities with only a couple of hours of electricity a day? Bad. Very Bad. I don't care who you are - you don't blast a country back to the stone age and then walk away. Here's what I want to do about Iraq - US Manufactured Solar panels shipped to Iraq, where we pay Iraqi contractors to install them. The US gets work, the Iraqi's get work, and the people of Iraq get their power back so they can get back online and blog about how totally awesome we are. Win/Win/Win.

(UPDATE!! Holy Crap! They're actually doing this one! - Check it;

Say what you will about the occupation of Iraq— you can’t fault the US Army for neglecting to equip the country with renewable energy. In the northwest section of Baghdad alone, US forces are conducting nearly two dozen solar projects in an attempt to alleviate Iraq’s electricity crisis.

Baghdad’s Amariyah clinic, for example, recently received a $165,000 solar installation. Previously, the clinic received only 12 hours of electricity each day, and many vaccines were spoiled. While the clinic now has enough power only for the essentials, Amariyah’s solar installation will save $2 million over 25 years.

The US military has also purchased over 1,000 bulletproof solar-powered streetlights for the city, and is planning similar installations in Fallouja and Ramadi.

All in all, US forces will spent a cool $6 million on solar projects in northwest Baghdad.

Daddy does the Happy Dance! It works! It can happen! So let's do More!! Moving on...)

Pakistan - Y'know why they're hiding Bin Laden - because he buys
them nice things. We could buy them nice things, too. Things like flood relief, things like improved housing to negate the need for flood relief. Here's what we do - we make Brad Pitt and Sean Penn "Ambassadors of Disaster" (okay, admittedly, that title's a little too "Apollo Creed" - perhaps "The Relief Chiefs"?) Seriously - after Hurricane Katrina, when the US government was ready to basically bulldoze the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans, Brad Pitt got architects, green building experts and a whole lot of concerned citizens together and created "The Make It Right Foundation" which is building flood resistant homes in the once underwater Lower Ninth. They can do the same thing in Pakistan. Why bring Sean Penn? "Cause he's frigging Sean Penn, that's why! Just look at the guy - he's born to do this shit! Hell, get Tim Robbins and Edward Norton as well, if you can. Oh, and we supply all the building materials. So again, manufacturing jobs for the US, we look like a million bucks for doing the humanitarian work that the billionaire cave-dweller Bin Laden won't do, and a dry and happy Pakistani populace! Win/Win/Win.

Tax Cuts - We've been fighting two wars for most of this century. In the past, that has meant rationing, sacrifice, doing without. In the Bush Administration, it meant tax rebates and shopping (which led to the credit bubble and obscene deficits and...blah, blah, blah - I know, I know - blame the black guy.
What-the fuck-Ever.) Here's the deal - Obama wants to let the Bush Tax Cuts expire and return tax rates to what we had during the Clinton Era (and, if you'll recall, people did pretty damned all right for themselves during the Clinton Era). Bottom Line - top taxes on ordinary income will jump from 35% to 39.6%. In the year 2000, that rate applied to anyone making $288,350 and above. President Obama also wants to modestly raise the taxes on capital gains and dividends, both to 20%. Republicans cry bloody tears over this, and they bemoan the tax and spend liberals, harkening back to the Republican heydays of the Reagan Administration. All was well then...all was right with the world under the fiscally conservative Ronald Reagan hisself -

Newsflash - taxes were higher under Reagan. Capital gains were never taxed at anything less than 20%, and dividends at no less than 28%.

So here's my tax plan - put your money where your mouth is. If you're a Democrat, you pay the Clinton tax rates. If you're a Reagan loving Republican, you pay the much higher Reagan tax rates. If you're an Independent, you take the average between the two or pick a party - your choice. So, with this plan, the majority of Americans still get a lower tax rate, the Republicans can re-live the Reagan years (and bring down the deficit that they created by now paying a much higher tax rate than the rest of us) and Daddy can have a really good laugh over the whole thing. Win/Win/Win. :)

Abortion - Ooooh, didn't think Daddy would go there so soon in the campaign, hmmm? Go big or go home - that's what Daddy says. Seriously - Abortion is an awful thing, like war. Like war, it is sometimes a necessary thing and usually, hopefully, the last of all possible options. Anyone who speaks out against abortion should speak out in favor of birth control - loudly. But also, I would hope that every person who has
ever spoken out against a woman's right to choose has also adopted an unwanted child. Because the sanctity of life is happening outside the womb as well, y'know. Those kids languishing in bad foster care or growing old in orphanages - their lives are precious, too. And I'm sure they'd love it if you'd put down your picket signs and put your money where your mouth is. Those kids need you. You can give a lonely child a family, you can live as a shining example to others, and the woman who is dying inside about the decision she has to make about her body and her future can come to her own peace without you up in her face. Win/Win/Fucking Win.

This is getting long, so here are some quick ones -

Energy - Five cent tax on every gallon of gas sold in the US to finance the retrofitting of every government building in the US with solar panels. Panels manufactured by Americans, installed by Americans, for the benefit of all Americans. If you have a 20 gallon tank, that's a dollar. A dollar a week to get your country off foreign oil. Win.

Subsidies - We still subsidize Wool growers. Y'know why? World War One uniforms were made out of wool and we didn't want to run out. We've been subsidizing them ever since. We also still subsidize mohair farmers. Y'know why? (Wait for it...) In case we ran out wool. Yes, for those same World War One uniforms. In a Daddy administration, that stops. And, as I mentioned in a previous post, if you're Big Tobacco, we're taking away your allowance as well.

Lobbyists - Lobbyists are a cancer. They make a mockery of the political system, auctioning government off to the highest bidders. But, as there is no cure for this cancer, the least we can do is profit from it. New Rule - If you are a lobbyist, to gain access to the House or Senate, you must pay a cover charge of $25,000. If you leave for any reason and need to come back in, that will be another $25,000. Bathroom break? $25k. Sneak out for a smoke? $25k. Where does that money go? Social Security, mother fuckers. 'Cause you're not gonna run out when it's time for me to get my share. And while we're on the subject...

Cancer - Cure it. (Like I said, go Big...) It's a worldwide problem, so it should be a worldwide solution. The problem isn't that we can't cure it - the problem is that everyone trying to cure it wants to be the one who cured cancer - every pharmaceutical company wants to be the company to develop the cure - and that's never gonna happen. This takes global brainpower, global funding, and global resources - everyone working together, sharing the knowledge and sharing the rewards. I vote that we put up the Real Estate - that we have the World Cancer Research Center located right here in the US and invite all of the brilliant minds in this field of study to come, gather, and find the cure. And then we move on to AIDS.

This is a sampling of the crazy ideas that go through Daddy's head on a daily basis. It is an optimistic view, no doubt. If anything, it is a knee jerk reaction to the mentally stunted "Party of No". And, as recent events will show, I'm not the only one thinking this way. The budget proposals put forth by the Simpson/Bowles bipartisan deficit commission make Daddy's musings look positively tame by comparison. But any way you slice it, the writing is on the wall - doing the same thing and hoping for a different result is the definition of insanity, and in this case, is the path to plutarchy. I don't know about you, but this idea that “There are no rich, there are no middle class, there is no poor…We all either work for rich people or sell stuff to rich people.”
(Rand Paul, Ladies and Gentlemen) seems to me to be a load of horseshit (Because what he's essentially saying with that statement is that you're either rich or a slave to the rich. Wow; thanks for electing this guy, Kentucky). This same Rand Paul was right when he said, "We're here to take our country back" but I would contend that we need to take it back from the uber rich, not from those alleged "socialists" that are doing nothing more than attempting to provide Liberty, and Justice, For ALL.

Track Six on the Daddy on the Edge Revolution Soundtrack. This song was my survival tool during the last of the Bush years, and it's still relevant today. Crank it.

What Better Time Than Now,



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