Daddy on the Edge of Another Banana in the Big Gay Hate Sundae

Look, Mom!  A pandering idiot!  Let's see what he has to say!!




Sigh.

The asshat in the ironic "gay equality" tie (look at it again - red background, pink equal sign - what's that they say?  "Man dresses himself, and God laughs") is former evangelical pastor and conservative activist David Barton.  Daddy has got a real fucking problem with David Barton - not because he founded WallBuilders, a Texas based organization which promotes the view that it is a "myth" that the US Constitution insists on separation of church and state. Not because he is the former vice chair of the Republican Party of Texas.  Not because he has been described as a Christian nationalist and "one of the foremost Christian revisionist historians" who's work is devoted to advancing the idea, based upon research that many historians describe as flawed, that the United States was founded as an explicitly Christian nation. Not even because his buddy, Glenn Beck - referred to him as "the Library of Congress in shoes".

Whatever the hell that means.

None of that is why I have a fucking problem with David Barton.  It's not even because he's trying to get people to hate on gays.  Don't get me wrong - hating on the LGBT is a surefire way to get on Daddy's Shit List, but this douche is just the cherry on top of the GOP Gay Hate Sundae.  Honestly, after a while, you start to wonder if any of them have original thought, or if they all memorized the same script and improv is forbidden - it reminds me of children's auditions in the 80's - "If one more kid comes in here and sings "Tomorrow", I'm gonna set my eyes on fire..."

But that's Part One of the Republican Playbook - say the same stupid ass thing as all the rest of the GOP - if we all say the same stupid thing, it echoes and reverbs and echoes again and of course it has to be true because we're all saying it and the echoing and the reverb...ing and it's just gotta be TRUE!

Part Two of the Republican Playbook consists of taking a veritable smorgasbord of  truly idiotic statements and stacking them neatly, precisely until they form a seemingly impenetrable Jenga style tower of Batshit Crazy.

And then they throw God into it.

And that is why Daddy has a real fucking problem with David Barton, because David dipshit Barton did all three...David Barton went for the GOP Trifecta, the Holy Trinity of Holy Shit, and decided to just let a wad of silliness and foolishness roll out of his wordhole, and it was just too much for Daddy to bear.

Let us dissect the STOOPID, shall we?  Here's how he started...

"Starbucks is pouring all this money into destroying traditional marriage..."

Okay.  Starbucks may be donating money to efforts that support and defend the rights of the LGBT community to marry, but that does not "destroy traditional marriage".  Gays have no interest in destroying traditional marriage - in fact, in most weddings, you can be pretty sure that gays were involved in one or more of the following - designing the wedding dress, designing the tux, doing the hair and makeup, catering the event, planning the event, providing the flowers, providing the music, taking the pictures - face it dude, at the end of the day, gays don't destroy traditional marriage - they keep it alive.

Can a Christian give money to a group that he knows will use it to attack what God supports?

Hmmmm....so much stupid here, I don't know where to start.  Christ supports Peace; can a Christian give money to companies that support war and war profiteering ?  Christ supports caring for the poor; can a Christian give money to companies like Walmart that keep their national employees poor enough to require food stamps, and let their international employees (who were making slave wages) perish in a substandard building collapse?  Christ said to give away everything and follow Him, so I guess the real question is, can a Christian keep any money at all?

God supports Love.  God supports Forgiveness.  God supports Peace.  Starbucks is not attacking any of that.

"If you know that, when you buy a cup of Starbucks, five, ten, fifteen cents is going to be used to defeat marriage, can you do that?  Answer is no..."

When my wife and I got married, after we had our first dance, do you know what we did?  We went to the wedding reception across the hall and beat the holy living bejeesus out of their marriage!!!  Defeated the Crap out of it!!  Yeah!  Sweep the leg, Johnny!!  Cuz that's what marriage is!  It's frigging Thunderdome!  Two Marriages Enter - One Marriage Leaves!!!!!  THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

David, David, David...marriage is not a welter weight boxing match (sorry Rhianna baby, it's really not).  It is not something that takes place in finite space, where there is only room for one to survive.  Nothing that anyone ever does will in any way threaten, cheapen or otherwise lessen the marriage that I have with my wife.  If your marriage isn't that strong, then that is just your fucking problem, idn't it?

"Biblically, there's no way a Christian can help support what is attacking God..."

In Christianity, God is the eternal being that created and preserves the world.  He is all powerful, all knowing, He is every where, He is every thing; there is nothing in all of all there is that is mightier, more divine, more completely and utterly awesome than God.

And I attacked him.  With a Mocha Frappuccino.

What the hell was I thinking?  God could totally kick my ass!  Sounds ludicrous, right?  Almost as ludicrous as God concerning himself with the passing of currency for the purchase of java, with a bit of that spare change going to lawyers who fight for fairness.

I could go on and on about the douchiness factor of David Barton, and the pathetic pandering that he engages in to remain minutely relevant and religiously provocative, or I could thank him for reminding me of why I admire Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz as much as I do.  Howard Schultz isn't waving a Bible in the air, and calling you a heathen if you don't wave yours too.  No; Howard Schultz is openly supporting diversity in his company and the right of his employees to have the same rights as David Barton.  Can you see what he's doing here, David?  It's this thing called doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, with a side order of judging not lest you yourself be judged, followed with a nice slice of loving your neighbor as you love yourself.

And ya know what's great to wash that all down with, David?  A nice, hot cup of Pike Place.



Next cup is on me, 

Daddy

Daddy on the Edge of a Venti Bold idea

If you know anything about Daddy, you know that Daddy has a strong, mildly unnatural, almost romantic bond with his Starbucks coffee. It puts the Ying in my Yang, it is the jen nais to my se quoi. It had me at "Hello"...my Starbucks...completes me.

I didn't know much from Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks; I probably knew as much about him as Snoop Dogg knows about his weed dealer - the man puts out good product, aight? As long as I get my daily fix, everybody's happy - I don't need to know from the corporate infrastructure.

Turns out though, this Howard Schultz is a pretty impressive guy. Not because of his coffee company, as huge as that is. So, what makes him so impressive? This...

August 15, 2011

Dear Fellow Concerned Americans:

Our country is better than this.

Over the last few weeks and months, our national elected officials from both parties have failed to lead. They have chosen to put partisan and ideological purity over the well-being of the people. They have undermined the full faith and credit of the United States. They have stirred up fears about our economic prospects without doing anything to truly address those fears. They have spent a resource even more precious than the dollar: our collective confidence in each other, in the future, and in our ability to solve problems together.

As leaders in business, we have watched all this unfold, first with frustration and then with dismay. Like so many of our employees and customers, we are gravely concerned about the current situation. Today, with both humility and urgency, we propose to do something about it.

First, we aim to push our elected leaders to face the nation's long-term fiscal challenges with civility, honesty, and a willingness to sacrifice their own re-election. This means not kicking the can anymore. It means reaching a deal on debt, revenue, and spending long before the deadline arrives this fall. It means considering all options, from entitlement programs to taxes.

This is what so many common-sense Americans want. That is why we today pledge to withhold any further campaign contributions to the President and all members of Congress until a fair, bipartisan deal is reached that sets our nation on stronger long-term fiscal footing. And we invite leaders of businesses – indeed, all concerned Americans – to join us in this pledge.

We also believe in leading by positive example. And we believe that while the long-term fiscal challenge is serious, even more painful to millions of Americans today is the immediate crisis of jobs. Tens of millions are unemployed and underemployed. Right now our economy is frozen in a cycle of fear and uncertainty. Companies are afraid to hire. Consumers are afraid to spend. Banks are afraid to lend. Record levels of cash are piling up in corporate treasuries, idling. That cash is not being used to expand operations, train new workers, underwrite new ventures, or spark innovation.

The only way to break this cycle of fear is to break it. The only way to get the country’s economic circulatory system flowing again is to start pumping lifeblood through it. That is why we today issue a second pledge. Our companies are going to hire. We are going to accelerate growth, employment, and investment in jobs.

We do this because we want to set in motion an upward spiral of confidence. We are not waiting for government to create an incentive program or a stimulus. We are not waiting for economic indicators to tell us it’s safe to act. We are hiring more people now. We invite leaders of businesses across the country to join us in this pledge as well – and to bring their stakeholders into the effort. Confidence is contagious. The best thing we can do now is to spread it.

This is a time for citizenship, not partisanship. It is a time for action. We don't pretend that our two pledges are quick fixes. We just believe that in this moment of great uncertainty, the government needs discipline, the people need jobs – and leaders need to lead.

Our country is better than this. Let’s get things moving now.

Respectfully,

Howard Schultz

Take the Pledge
Clicking on the "TAKE THE PLEDGE" button will take you to the Facebook page of "Upward Spiral 2011", a platform the Schultz has created for action inspired by the letter. As of this blog post, there have been 209 pledges to withhold campaign contributions and 43 pledges to hire. This is how it's done, people. When the game is rigged, refuse to play...and take your money off the table.

Take the Pledge. Be part of the solution. And order me a Venti.

Daddy